Parenting 101

Do you ever have days where you are cruising along thinking you are doing well at Parenting 304 class?  Yeah . . . you've been doing this for a few years now.  You know the right answers,  you get them right most of the time.  Some projects go really well.  Some projects you don't always get the rest of your classmates to pull their share of the weight, so you take the lead and get the project done anyway and you really don't mind because the project is rewarding.  

Then, all of a sudden you run into a day where you flashback to a nightmare of Parenting 101 and realize you flunked that class.  Yep, you only were advanced to the next level, you didn't really pass.  BACK. UP. THE. TRAIN.  What the heck just happened??  Why did they let me continue if I didn't know what I was doing?  It's the school's fault.  I don't know the basics, I need to go back.

Then, you snap out of your nightmare and realize that there really aren't any classes.  There aren't any instruction manuals.  There is no return policy.  Oh boy, now what?!

Well, it was kind of one of those nights with those three lovely boys.  One of those nights that I am not sure exactly where I placed my notes on how to deal with bedtime routines gone wrong and I am pretty sure that I didn't pass that test with flying colors.  Now, it was not the worst of nights.  I have definitely had nights when more patience were lost and more voices were raised than tonight.  But, it wasn't the best night either.

So, the story . . . truth be told, my boys can be very sweet, yet they do fight with each other.  They fight over the computer games, they fight over the TV shows to watch, they fight over whose turn it is to feed the dog, they fight over who took a shower today/yesterday/last week.  You get the idea.  So, many, many moons ago to avoid fighting at bed time, which usually isn't a huge production, we took a calendar and proceeded to designate each boy's night to pick the bedtime movie.  A few months ago, we wrote in Fischer because he was getting into the whole movie fix and wanted his turn. F-P-G - it's not that hard.  Fischer has gotten a little crazy lately and declares it's his night every night.  He usually quickly gets over it.  Tonight was Paden's night to pick.  We skip-doctored the DVD, we gave kisses, and I thought all was well.  A little before 8:45pm, one hour after they went into their beds, there is arguing coming from the room.  Paden exits the room sobbing that Gunnar has taken out his DVD and put in something different.  So, in I go.  I proceed to remind them that I could shut off the TV.  I explained to them in a relatively calm, yet stern voice for all to hear clearly, that we had a calendar system for a reason . . . we could NOT have movies before bed, in fact might be a great idea . . . we could remove the TV altogether . . . we could not replace their dying TV for a flat screen (which is already paid for) . . . etc, etc.  So, I left.  A few minutes later, more arguing coming through my wall from their room.  I returned, turned off the TV and DVD player and they wailed.  They were sobbing and yelling into their pillows.  I walked out . . . and laughed.  I couldn't stop laughing so I went downstairs to tell Neil about the experience.  I maybe shouldn't have.  Neil's "relatively calm, yet stern voice for all to hear clearly" is a little louder and sterner than mine, which sometimes can solicit more tears and more wailing.  At any rate, the wailing stopped pretty quickly.

So, I am pretty sure I failed some important lessons back in Parenting 101.  I am sure it's not kosher to allow kids to watch movies before they go to bed. I am sure it's not kosher to let a two year old eat hot dogs and ketchup for dinner, without the hot dog.   I know. I know.  The things that often make me parent of the year from the eyes of my child might not be what makes me parent of the year with the actual parent of the year committee.  It's OK.  I really don't need the award.  I know that I am the best because I make the best macaroni and cheese following church every Sunday.  I know I am the best because I make the best smoothies ever.  

Although some moments, hours, nights, days, weeks are difficult and challenging, I am thankful for the boys. They actually are good kids.  You know there is divine intervention in putting families together.  My boys are for me.   I love them immensely, more than words can describe.  They are fun.  They are smart.  They are kind-hearted.  They have a sense of humor.  They are honest and thoughtful.  They aren't forgetful.  They want to be helpful.  They get along with each other more than they fight.  They are good brothers to each other.  They are with me to teach me.  

They test my patience and heaven knows I need that.  They remind me that I can't and shouldn't work alone to manage them; prayer is powerful.  They remind me that there actually is an instruction manual; it's called the scriptures.  I have some many wonderful promises in my patriarchal blessing and I have been reminded lately that I must do my part for those promises to be fulfilled.  So, for those reminders, I am thankful.